I am compelled to share my feelings with you, after having just enjoyed a perfectly lazy moment gazing out of the window. It’s the first time I’ve actually slowed down in a while. I didn’t realise how relentlessly I’d been focusing on an aim until I stopped to pay attention to the present. Just watching a bird, gently bobbing up and down on a wire, was all the medicine I’d needed to calm my stress and refresh my energy. Lying still, blessed with the brightness of a blue sky, my mind was hushed by a silent lullaby and I slipped with ease back into the akashic gift of simply being. ‘Like a bird, free’.
Eyes on the prize
Since leaving an extremely toxic, controlling relationship, I have been driven to make something of myself. I have somewhat over compensated after my soul’s potential was on hold for so long; I was discouraged from sharing my love and compassion, hidden away in the house with all I had to offer devalued and muted. Now that I am free, I suppose I have been running like a wild animal, voracious with my eyes set on the prize. While I set my focus so firmly, putting all I have into the aim and, to be honest, into proving myself … I have been missing the journey and the entire point. Well not any more!
The hurrier I go, the ‘behinder’ I get
My mother passed this saying onto me, from my great grandmother who apparently had it framed on her wall. I am beginning to understand how these wise words can apply to more than just the school run. Our aspirations are not something to hurry towards, with ego, but rather a journey to enjoy. I don’t know about you but I certainly need to remember that we are more likely to get there, and be happy there, when we walk lightly with love and compassion.
Chasing the horizon
This is exactly what we are doing when we tell ourselves that we will be happy or fulfilled when … When we accomplish our aim, when we get a better job, better finances, better health. It is so easy to fall into this mindset but a good book springs to mind (which I am now taking from my bookshelf as I clearly need to give it another read!). Julia Cameron’s ‘Prosperous Heart’ teaches us to trust that we are watched over and guided towards our higher good, irrespective of where we are financially, no matter how many loose ends we feel we may have.
Driven by something far better
So without an aim of achievement what do we have to drive us forward? Quite simply all we require for that is all that we already have … ‘enough’. Julia Cameron shows us that when we embrace the principle that all we have in our life is ‘enough’ we find ourselves less hurried by financial worries and objectives. Neither do we run ourselves into the ground out of fear of losing possessions, or losing face, when we realise that we can’t possibly lose what is most truly precious in life … our true Selves. That is the strength that will drive us forward!
Julia Cameron affirms that ‘The prosperous heart is abundant. While we may not have all that we wish, we can be assured that we have ‘enough.’ Rather than insatiably craving more, the prosperous heart makes the most of the stores that it has. We find we can meet our needs and even our wants. We know that prosperity is more than our cash flow, more than our fiscal bottom line. Prosperity is a matter of faith. The prosperous heart trusts that the future will be cared for, as is the day at hand. The prosperous heart does not fear abandonment. It claims God as its constant companion. There is one prayer it prays above all: ‘Thy will be done.’ Setting aside its personal will, it asks for knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry it out. This prayer is answered, sometimes boldly, sometimes subtly. The prosperous heart believes that even its tiniest whisper meets God’s ear.’
Grace and surrender
My vision hasn’t changed and my determination has not subsided. I have a keen feeling that I am meant to do what it is I am aiming for. What has changed is my journey there and my mindset. With faith, grace and surrender I will enjoy each step that takes me exactly where I am meant to be.
I will say farewell to you now, trusting that you are exactly where you are meant to be, too, and sending you much love there. I am eager to begin the twelve week programme from ‘The Prosperous Heart’ which will help me keep to a nice, gentle tempo – calm, content and free like that bird out there on the wire.
© 2013 Louisa Mills,