Having the courage to be guided by your heart leads to a marvellous life liberated from compromise. On the other hand, if you make choices and carry out actions out of fear or obligation, then you can find yourself becoming tired, frustrated and resentful and, as a direct consequence, prevent good things from entering your life. The trick is to know the difference between helpful and harmful compromise, then be heroic by being, doing and having what makes your heart sing.
A compromise-free life is a free life indeed.
The Compromise that Corrodes
Some compromises in life are helpful because they offer opportunities for you to surrender your ego-based desires. By this I mean that helpful compromises allow you to step beyond the confines of your mental conditioning to enjoy unexpected life experiences that are very enlivening for your soul.
However, there is also a kind of compromise that can be quite literally soul-destroying. Unhealthy compromise happens when you consistently be, do or have things that are in direct conflict with what your heart knows is best. Or in other words, harmful compromises happen when you know something is not right for you, but you continue with it anyway.
Harmful compromise creates inner conflict that corrodes your peace and suppresses your joy.
Compromise makes you play small and buy into the illusion that you cannot have what you ultimately want. Problems are perceived and miracles are prevented if you consistently ignore your heart by opting to rely too heavily on your head.
Within your heart exists an inner wisdom that can guide you, if you let it.
The thing you must understand about compromise is that no end of intellectual convincing can ever prevail over the deep and immediate knowing of your heart. As a result, it doesn’t matter how much intellectual convincing you attempt to engage in; if you are compromising, then your heart can never be fooled. With that in mind, I invite you to be heroic now by asking yourself this question:
Where in my life am I compromising?
This question is so incredibly powerful because it highlights any area(s) of your life where you are currently in conflict with your heart. You will find when asking this question that you know any compromises almost immediately. Talking of which, when you read the above question, did a particular relationship or life circumstance pop into your mind? If not, maybe an eating or drinking habit did? Irrespective of what came to mind, this question is not an opportunity for you to beat yourself up, but instead, a chance to lift yourself up by re-aligning yourself with your heart and exploring how to eradicate harmful compromise from your life.
Putting Yourself First is Not Selfish
Putting yourself first is about living authentically. When you are authentic, you are in harmony with yourself and your surroundings. You don’t want one thing, but out of obligation do something else. You are at peace because there is no inner conflict. With no inner conflict you open yourself up for miracles to flow through you. To meet the universe halfway you ask for and focus upon what you want, while giving other people the freedom to do the same. You make choices and take actions that are consistent with what feels right for you.
When you put yourself first you love yourself unconditionally. You don’t seek validation by external means or try to convince other people that you’re good enough to be loved. You don’t seek possessions and power to justify your existence or try to impress. You don’t present yourself as somebody important or show how smart you are. Instead, you are peaceful and able to listen to and follow your inner wisdom. You enjoy incredibly loving relationships because you stop selling yourself, start being yourself and in the process attract people into your life who love you for who you are. You don’t fear what others think of you or what might happen in your life circumstances because you don’t identify yourself with external life factors. Naturally, you respect yourself, respect other people and respect the world you live in.
Be and Do What You Love!
Curing corrosive compromise is about asking for what you want and never feeling obligated to be, do and have things that are in conflict with your heart. You put yourself first. You may need to give yourself permission to do this. Have the courage to say ‘no’ to the things that you don’t want. Do the things you enjoy so much that you lose track of time doing them. Paint. Sing. Dance. Say, ‘yes’ to being, doing and having all the things that make your heart sing.
© 2013 by Sandy C Newbigging (www.minddetox.com), author of New Beginnings: Ten Teachings for Making the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life (Findhorn Press, 2013)