How are your resolutions going so far? I’m really proud to be standing by my sponsored abstinence from coffee, for Women’s Aid as I’m usually a bit of an espresso nut. It feels good to start the year with a challenge that not only raises money for a very worthwhile cause but also represents a development in my personal integrity (not to mention the health benefits). My other resolutions might be a little slow off the mark but you know what? I’m okay with that.
What really matters
My initial determination to work harder, to be more productive and more organised has subsided … not into procrastination but into a hesitance that feels deeply substantiated. I know exactly what it is (other than caffeine withdrawals).
Have you ever tried taking a dog outside for a walk on a rainy day? If you have you’ll get what my inner self was doing – no matter how much I pulled, pushed or coaxed, it wasn’t going to budge until I got the message. So I finally asked the question, ‘what is it that’s stopping me from reaching for the things that matter?’. Within a few minutes I received an email, it was just some spam nonsense but two words jumped off the screen at me. ‘You Matter’.
I got it at that moment that yes our dreams, aims and ambitions are important but not as much as who we are. Who we are matters. You matter.
The truth of who we are at this moment in time, as we set our goals, as we affirm our intentions, is resonating at the same greatness we envision for our future selves. As we mop the floors, check our emails or wait for a bus we already have everything within us that we are striving for. I know it may come across a little cliché and I’ve said it all before but it is important and everything comes down to this. Whatever greatness we want to be tomorrow will be more secured when we accept that we are already that greatness today. All the lists and the plans and the resolutions, they’re fab but they’re external – our greatness, on the other hand, is internal. Our greatness can be stubborn. We can’t push, pull or coax it out … we don’t need to … all it takes is loving attention, recognition and gratitude. I guess that’s where the doing nothing part was needed. All my plans and bullet pointed lists were taking my focus away. My inner self was calling for me to rebalance and to re-centre.
Getting the message
So that’s what I’m doing. My favourite way of describing the place I’m at right now is the italian phrase I learned when reading Eat, Pray, Love ‘dolce far niente: the pleasure of doing nothing’. I don’t feel guilty about it (and I hope you don’t if your resolutions aren’t going exactly as planned) and I’m not failing in my resolutions – on the contrary! I might be ‘slow off the mark’ but I’m more sure footed this way. And so what if I didn’t include this step in my hand written plan? The higher plan trumps everything!
And on that note, I wish you confidence and peace with wherever you might be with your New Years resolutions and with life.