Over the years, Margaret and I have learned from personal experience a truth we have often heard before: to help yourself and to assist the universe in helping you, it is important to visualise and list exactly what you want out of life. Wherever our goals are unclear, the universe does its best to fill in the blanks. Unfortunately, it’s what shows up in the details we did not plan on that can seriously undermine our desired goals and aspirations. With that in mind, before you start reprogramming your subconscious mind, it would be best to step back and ask yourself consciously: ‘What is it that I really want?’ Make a mental list of what you are looking for. Write down the list in detail. The more complete the details, the easier it is for your mind and the universe to conspire in fulfilling your wishes and desires. Here is one example, albeit a very incomplete one: ‘I love my caring, open-minded, affectionate, smart life partner, and I feel completely supported during our quiet evenings laughing and sharing our life stories and interests.’ By spelling out and broadcasting exactly what you want, you will manifest conscious and subconscious behaviours that will attract the kinds of relationships you want in your life.
Review your subconscious programming
We are mostly unaware of our own subconscious behaviours, and on the occasions we do notice them, it’s almost shocking and embarrassing. As a result of not seeing our own behaviour, we tend to blame others for our failed relationships: How could someone as good as I am be the source of the problem? True, in our conscious minds we are the loving people we think we are, but most of the time our lives are invisibly shaped by subconscious programs that may not be so loveable.
So we need to answer the question ‘Does my subconscious programming support my heart’s desire?’ If we are generally unobservant of these behaviours, how do we know what our programs are?
In her book The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom, Suze Orman for example, learned very young that the reason her parents ‘seemed so unhappy’ was not that they didn’t love each other but that there was never enough money to pay the bills. ‘In our house money meant tension, worry, and sorrow.’
You can, as now wealthy Orman did, undo even the most negative programming. And you don’t have to change your whole life! Just focus on the areas where you need help. The things that come easily to you, are already supported by positive subconscious programming – that’s why you experience them. However, anything you have to work hard on – those are the areas that most likely represent self-sabotaging subconscious beliefs that need to be reprogrammed.
Not only do you not need to change everything, but it’s not necessary to go to a psychologist to understand everything. You don’t have to rip yourself apart emotionally. You don’t have to focus on the people who are to ‘blame’ for your programming. It’s not necessary to kill the messenger. It’s the message that needs to be rewritten because it’s the message that has given rise to your behaviour.
Before we attempt to rewrite our behavioural programming, it is vitally important to understand the differing ways our conscious and subconscious minds learn. You might think that when the conscious mind learns something new, the subconscious program will automatically adjust itself to be in alignment with the new knowledge.
Wrong! the two minds essentially behave as separate entities and do not learn in the same way.
The creative, conscious mind, the thinking mind, can instantly learn from a variety of inputs. Something as simple as an Aha moment can produce a radical change in belief and in your life. But sometimes seekers get stuck, as I did, by focusing on intellectual learning only. Educating the conscious mind does not automatically reprogram the subconscious mind. In my case, it was when I used the awareness I had acquired intellectually to rewrite subconscious programs that I made substantial progress in changing my life.
While the conscious mind is creative and can use that creativity to learn, the subconscious mind primarily learns through either hypnosis or the creation of habits. How did you learn your multiplication tables? By repeating the sequence of numbers over and over, you eventually memorised the pattern and could repeat it unconsciously. Repetition leads to habituation, and that is the fundamental mechanism for programming subconscious behaviour patterns.
How many times did you practice your multiplication tables until they stuck? How many times did you practice driving before you became adept? Similarly, subconscious habits don’t go away just because you say, ‘Go away’. You have to practice your new habits until they become automatic.
When you remove the impediment of your subconscious programming, you are free to live a life that is a creative romance, a dream come true. Once you program your conscious mind’s wishes, desires, and aspirations into your subconscious mind, you will create a perpetual honeymoon. Even when you shift into automatic pilot, as we all do, formerly ugly behaviours will simply not rear their heads because your subconscious programs will now match the desires and wishes in your conscious mind.
In the above illustration, the three lower chakras (the solar plexus, sacral, and root) represent the influence of our physical biology, specifically our physiology, in shaping our lives. The top three chakras (the crown, third eye, and throat) represent the influences derived from our consciousness, our psychology. the middle chakra is the heart chakra, which represents unconditional love for self and others.
When all seven of the chakras in this illustration are aligned, there are no energy blocks; energy flows freely through every chakra. the heart chakra in the middle is purposefully larger than the others because when you align your physiology and your psychology, when you love yourself so others can love you and you can love others, your heart will expand and open to your partner and to the world. By manifesting the life you choose, not the life you were programmed by your family to lead, you can have it all.
Welcome to the Honeymoon effect!
From The Honeymoon Effect by Bruce Lipton © 2014, published in the UK by Hay House.